Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
