the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
