The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She announced her abortion via fbk
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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