FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
