dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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