I want to make a zoo with you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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