He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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