the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
