woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
