I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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