Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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