do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
