Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
MIDGETS
????
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
