I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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