your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
