chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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