in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
