go do what you do best...puke behind churches
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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