Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
