By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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