Its about making memories worth repressing
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
