what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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