How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
