Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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