Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
