Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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