I hate all girls vehemently.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
