saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
this will be a night to untag.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
