yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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