Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
