and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
