oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
