that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
