Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
