Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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