so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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