We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
