terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
