too bad you live with your parents still
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
