It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
