____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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