I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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