There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
