first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
