remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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