if i died would you start the facebook group?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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