my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
