I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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