I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
