we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
