theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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