I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
