hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
