i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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