I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
